This is the eulogy I read at Mother’s funeral on Saturday, November 28, 2009.
Tribute to Mother
By the world’s standards Mother was not a rich woman. She wore the world loosely, but because of God’s grace she was blessed with the things that mattered.
As a child I never appreciated how beautiful Mother was, but people were drawn to her. It was not only because of her outward beauty. It was a beauty that came from inside.
Mother’s humility was attractive. Laura recently described her in an assignment paper as one of the most humble people she knew, because Mother never took what she had for granted. She enjoyed every moment of her life. She was always willing to do whatever or go anywhere you wanted to go. Mother consistently thought of others before herself.
Mother loved to have a good time. Her laugh was infectious. She rarely giggled. When something would strike her as funny, she’d tilt her head back and shout with glee. Her whole face would light up. She full of joy.
She was never shy. Whenever Mother met someone new, they were instant friends. Mother always lived life to the top. She never hesitated to share her joy with her friends and family. She grasped every moment and lived it to the fullest.
She felt pain deeply, as well. She didn’t try to hide or pretend it was not there. I’ve watched her mourn the loss of two husbands and she never acted like she was “fine” when she wasn’t. She was free with her tears for herself and others. She was a dependable friend who would laugh with you or cry with you, whichever was appropriate at the moment. She nursed those who were sick with gentleness and mercy. She was always gracious in the hardest moments.
Donna, it became evident to all of us in the last 5 months, that you inherited from Mother this ability to lovingly and tenaciously care for your family when they are in need.
Generosity was another of the marks Mother left on our lives. Probably most of you in this room have a piece she has crocheted for you. Or you have a plant clipping she rooted and helped you put in dirt. Her winters were spent crocheting and her summers were spent with flowers. And whatever she made or grew was meant to be given away. She could not visit without bringing something and when you visited her she sent you home with something,,,jars of fig preserves or even something out of her freezer. She loved to bake cakes and to eat sweets. And there are quite a few of us who will miss her dressing at Thanksgiving.
She was humble, compassionate, merciful, forgiving, generous, hard-working, joyful and loving.
Loving………..the most encompassing definition of Mother was her love for her family. I have said this many times to her and others in the last months. There has never been a single day in my entire life that I did not know my Mother loved me with her whole heart. There were many times when I did not deserve that love. There were times when I doubted whether I loved her back and I am sure I hurt her deeply. But she was always more than willing to forgive any hurt. And I never doubted for a moment that Mother loved me so much she would have laid down her life for mine. She loved Donna and me with her whole being. Everything she did was for us.
There was a tradition that Mother would wake us up on our birthday to sing us happy birthday. When we became adults those phone calls would often come painfully early in the morning. This year she sang Donna and I happy birthday one more time in a weak but loving voice. What a cherished memory.
And her grandchildren….oh my…you’ve hardly ever known a more loving or generous grandmother.
When Wallace was born, Donna and Damon were stationed at an army base in GA. She couldn’t hardly wait to get there to see her first grandchild, a grandson, no less. She had finally gotten that son she’d always wanted. She got up at 3:00 on a cold March morning to make the long hard drive from Bullock County to Fort Stewart, Georgia to see that new baby. That set a precedent for her and she was never afraid to get in her car, by herself if necessary, to make long drives to see any of her children or grandchildren. She always made sure she had a reliable well-maintained car for that purpose.
She wanted Wallace to call her Goodma, like Aunt Alice’s grandchildren called her. It suited Mother to a tee. When Wallace was first learning to talk, he would initially say meema. I thought Mother was going to have a conniption. She was not a mean mother,, she was a good mother. Donna reassured her that we would just keep saying Goodma and he would eventually get it right. And he did. And each of her subsequent grandchildren and great-grandchildren have called her Goodma, good Mother.
When Will was born, her husband, Keldon, was very very sick. She could not leave him and he was unable to come to Memphis to see the new grandbaby. She was so pitiful. It was almost two weeks before they were able to come to see Will. Keldon said Mother had been moping around like a sad little puppy until he just couldn’t stand it anymore. Even though he probably still wasn’t physically up for the road trip, he brought her to Memphis to see her second grandchild, another grandson. Will and his Goodma were best buddies from the very beginning. Even in her 60’s she chased him around the house and tossed ball with him in the yard.
When her only granddaughter, Laura, was born she actually got to be in the delivery room. One of the first things the nurses said was, what long skinny feet she has. I thought Mother’s face would burst she smiled so big. Mother was notorious for loving shoes and never being able to find shoes to fit because she wore a size 9 ½ narrow. Laura had Mother’s long skinny feet. Poor Laura, but proud Goodma. Mother spent the next 10 years buying Laura shoes. Laura would go to Mother’s to spend time when she was little and she always came home with a sack full of new shoes. I think they bought Wal-Mart out of sandals one summer.
Mother never had sons of her own. Her two son-in-laws have been as good as any sons she could have had. She once told me she could not have picked better sons if she had picked them herself. She was so proud of Damon and Mike, grateful for their loyalty respect for her and her daughters.
And Kelly, she was so impressed with the Mother you have become. She knew you and Wallace would raise her great-grandchildren in the worship and admonition of the Lord.
There is no doubt she loved her children and grandchildren to the utmost. But when her great-grandchildren arrived by special delivery from Russia, she felt like her life was complete. She was so proud of Wallace and Kelly for adopting those sweet babies from the orphanage in Russia. And she fell in love with them before she ever even saw them. In these final months Mac and Olivia have been a light in her life.
She prayed for each one of us every night, sometimes until the wee hours of the morning, calling each of us by name.
About 15 years ago after living away from Henry County for more than 45 years, she came home. She loved living in Wills Cross Roads again near family and re-connecting with childhood friends.
The last few years with Mr. Woody were some of the happiest in her life. They had fun together. I will always remember how they loved to watch the Gaithers, Braves Baseball and Alabama and Auburn football games. After yesterday’s game was over I knew Mother would not have been disappointed in her Auburn Tigers performance, but she would also have been glad that Alabama was still in a National Championship hunt. Mr. Woody took good care of Mother. He cooked for her and waited on her hand and foot like she was a princess. And most important he made her laugh. She loved him deeply and missed him terribly when he was gone.
I think we have all been over-whelmed by the number of you who have called, visited, sent cards and signed the guest book on the Caring Bridge web site. Mother was so encouraged and blessed by each voice, face, and reminder of all the friends and family she was loved by. We thank you for this.
Darlene and Donna, you have been a blessing to all of us. Mother adopted you as her daughters in her heart. We are so grateful for your faithfulness and kindness to her in the year after Woody died. And Savannah you were a light and joy to her, always.
We are grateful we had these final months with Mother. Mother granted Donna and me the gift of being not only willing but enthusiastic about discussing her death and plans for her funeral. She told us what she wanted and what she didn’t want and what she didn’t really care about. A couple of months ago she even gave her approval for what I have shared with you here today.
We all made a conscious effort to leave nothing unsaid. Mother made sure of that. We have savored every moment. We have made memories which will last us for our final days on earth.
Donna & Damon, it is to your credit Mother’s last days were peaceful and comfortable. If going through the disease of Acute Leukemia can be done with grace and ease, Mother granted us this gift.
In the last words of the Beatitudes, Jesus taught:
5:13
“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it useful again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.
5:14
You are the light of the world – like a city on a mountain, glowing in the night for all to see.
5:15
Don’t hide your light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it shine for all.
5:16
In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.
Mother’s beauty in her final days came from inside. I believe the Light of God was shining in her face and she let her light shine. She was salt and light until the very end.
She was at peace. She knew her eternal destiny was with her Lord. She did not fear death. This love she had for her family and friends came from the love relationship she had with Jesus. She loved Jesus and us, because He first loved her. Wednesday night I am confident she heard Him say, “well done good and faithful servant”.
