A tribute to Mother

This is the eulogy I read at Mother’s funeral on Saturday, November 28, 2009.

Tribute to Mother

By the world’s standards Mother was not a rich woman. She wore the world loosely, but because of God’s grace she was blessed with the things that mattered.

As a child I never appreciated how beautiful Mother was, but people were drawn to her. It was not only because of her outward beauty. It was a beauty that came from inside.

Mother’s humility was attractive. Laura recently described her in an assignment paper as one of the most humble people she knew, because Mother never took what she had for granted. She enjoyed every moment of her life. She was always willing to do whatever or go anywhere you wanted to go. Mother consistently thought of others before herself.

Mother loved to have a good time. Her laugh was infectious. She rarely giggled. When something would strike her as funny, she’d tilt her head back and shout with glee. Her whole face would light up. She full of joy.

She was never shy. Whenever Mother met someone new, they were instant friends. Mother always lived life to the top. She never hesitated to share her joy with her friends and family. She grasped every moment and lived it to the fullest.

She felt pain deeply, as well. She didn’t try to hide or pretend it was not there. I’ve watched her mourn the loss of two husbands and she never acted like she was “fine” when she wasn’t. She was free with her tears for herself and others. She was a dependable friend who would laugh with you or cry with you, whichever was appropriate at the moment. She nursed those who were sick with gentleness and mercy. She was always gracious in the hardest moments.

Donna, it became evident to all of us in the last 5 months, that you inherited from Mother this ability to lovingly and tenaciously care for your family when they are in need.

Generosity was another of the marks Mother left on our lives. Probably most of you in this room have a piece she has crocheted for you. Or you have a plant clipping she rooted and helped you put in dirt. Her winters were spent crocheting and her summers were spent with flowers. And whatever she made or grew was meant to be given away. She could not visit without bringing something and when you visited her she sent you home with something,,,jars of fig preserves or even something out of her freezer. She loved to bake cakes and to eat sweets. And there are quite a few of us who will miss her dressing at Thanksgiving.

She was humble, compassionate, merciful, forgiving, generous, hard-working, joyful and loving.

Loving………..the most encompassing definition of Mother was her love for her family. I have said this many times to her and others in the last months. There has never been a single day in my entire life that I did not know my Mother loved me with her whole heart. There were many times when I did not deserve that love. There were times when I doubted whether I loved her back and I am sure I hurt her deeply. But she was always more than willing to forgive any hurt. And I never doubted for a moment that Mother loved me so much she would have laid down her life for mine. She loved Donna and me with her whole being. Everything she did was for us.

There was a tradition that Mother would wake us up on our birthday to sing us happy birthday. When we became adults those phone calls would often come painfully early in the morning. This year she sang Donna and I happy birthday one more time in a weak but loving voice. What a cherished memory.

And her grandchildren….oh my…you’ve hardly ever known a more loving or generous grandmother.

When Wallace was born, Donna and Damon were stationed at an army base in GA. She couldn’t hardly wait to get there to see her first grandchild, a grandson, no less. She had finally gotten that son she’d always wanted. She got up at 3:00 on a cold March morning to make the long hard drive from Bullock County to Fort Stewart, Georgia to see that new baby. That set a precedent for her and she was never afraid to get in her car, by herself if necessary, to make long drives to see any of her children or grandchildren. She always made sure she had a reliable well-maintained car for that purpose.

She wanted Wallace to call her Goodma, like Aunt Alice’s grandchildren called her. It suited Mother to a tee. When Wallace was first learning to talk, he would initially say meema. I thought Mother was going to have a conniption. She was not a mean mother,, she was a good mother. Donna reassured her that we would just keep saying Goodma and he would eventually get it right. And he did. And each of her subsequent grandchildren and great-grandchildren have called her Goodma, good Mother.

When Will was born, her husband, Keldon, was very very sick. She could not leave him and he was unable to come to Memphis to see the new grandbaby. She was so pitiful. It was almost two weeks before they were able to come to see Will. Keldon said Mother had been moping around like a sad little puppy until he just couldn’t stand it anymore. Even though he probably still wasn’t physically up for the road trip, he brought her to Memphis to see her second grandchild, another grandson. Will and his Goodma were best buddies from the very beginning. Even in her 60’s she chased him around the house and tossed ball with him in the yard.

When her only granddaughter, Laura, was born she actually got to be in the delivery room. One of the first things the nurses said was, what long skinny feet she has. I thought Mother’s face would burst she smiled so big. Mother was notorious for loving shoes and never being able to find shoes to fit because she wore a size 9 ½ narrow. Laura had Mother’s long skinny feet. Poor Laura, but proud Goodma. Mother spent the next 10 years buying Laura shoes. Laura would go to Mother’s to spend time when she was little and she always came home with a sack full of new shoes. I think they bought Wal-Mart out of sandals one summer.

Mother never had sons of her own. Her two son-in-laws have been as good as any sons she could have had. She once told me she could not have picked better sons if she had picked them herself. She was so proud of Damon and Mike, grateful for their loyalty respect for her and her daughters.

And Kelly, she was so impressed with the Mother you have become. She knew you and Wallace would raise her great-grandchildren in the worship and admonition of the Lord.

There is no doubt she loved her children and grandchildren to the utmost. But when her great-grandchildren arrived by special delivery from Russia, she felt like her life was complete. She was so proud of Wallace and Kelly for adopting those sweet babies from the orphanage in Russia. And she fell in love with them before she ever even saw them. In these final months Mac and Olivia have been a light in her life.

She prayed for each one of us every night, sometimes until the wee hours of the morning, calling each of us by name.

About 15 years ago after living away from Henry County for more than 45 years, she came home. She loved living in Wills Cross Roads again near family and re-connecting with childhood friends.

The last few years with Mr. Woody were some of the happiest in her life. They had fun together. I will always remember how they loved to watch the Gaithers, Braves Baseball and Alabama and Auburn football games. After yesterday’s game was over I knew Mother would not have been disappointed in her Auburn Tigers performance, but she would also have been glad that Alabama was still in a National Championship hunt. Mr. Woody took good care of Mother. He cooked for her and waited on her hand and foot like she was a princess. And most important he made her laugh. She loved him deeply and missed him terribly when he was gone.

I think we have all been over-whelmed by the number of you who have called, visited, sent cards and signed the guest book on the Caring Bridge web site. Mother was so encouraged and blessed by each voice, face, and reminder of all the friends and family she was loved by. We thank you for this.

Darlene and Donna, you have been a blessing to all of us. Mother adopted you as her daughters in her heart. We are so grateful for your faithfulness and kindness to her in the year after Woody died. And Savannah you were a light and joy to her, always.

We are grateful we had these final months with Mother. Mother granted Donna and me the gift of being not only willing but enthusiastic about discussing her death and plans for her funeral. She told us what she wanted and what she didn’t want and what she didn’t really care about. A couple of months ago she even gave her approval for what I have shared with you here today.

We all made a conscious effort to leave nothing unsaid. Mother made sure of that. We have savored every moment. We have made memories which will last us for our final days on earth.

Donna & Damon, it is to your credit Mother’s last days were peaceful and comfortable. If going through the disease of Acute Leukemia can be done with grace and ease, Mother granted us this gift.

In the last words of the Beatitudes, Jesus taught:
5:13
“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it useful again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.
5:14
You are the light of the world – like a city on a mountain, glowing in the night for all to see.
5:15
Don’t hide your light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it shine for all.
5:16
In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.

Mother’s beauty in her final days came from inside. I believe the Light of God was shining in her face and she let her light shine. She was salt and light until the very end.

She was at peace. She knew her eternal destiny was with her Lord. She did not fear death. This love she had for her family and friends came from the love relationship she had with Jesus. She loved Jesus and us, because He first loved her. Wednesday night I am confident she heard Him say, “well done good and faithful servant”.

Mother’s obituary

Not because I don’t have words, but because I want this documented here. I will come back and add more of my own words and recollections later.

Christine Money Fuller
(May 24, 1932 – November 25, 2009)

CHRISTINE MONEY FULLER

ABBEVILLE. . .Christine Money Fuller, a resident of Abbeville, died Wednesday night, November 25, 2009, at the home of a daughter, Donna Mills, in Pike Road, Alabama. She was 77.

Funeral services will be held at 10:00 A. M. Saturday, November 28, 2009, in the Holman-Abbeville Mortuary Chapel with Reverend Mike Lee officiating. Graveside services will follow at 2:00 P. M. Saturday in the Enon Baptist Cemetery in Pike County, Alabama between Union Springs and Troy. The family will receive friends from 9:00 until 10:00 A. M. Saturday at the mortuary in Abbeville. At other times, the family will be at the home of Ernie Money in the Wills Crossroads Community.

Flowers will be accepted or memorial contributions may be made to the Shorterville Baptist Church, c/o Rossie Money, 2457 County Road 91, Abbeville, AL. 36310.

Mrs. Fuller was born and reared in the Wills Crossroads community of Henry County. She formerly lived in Columbus, GA., Phenix City, AL. and Union Springs, AL. before moving to Abbeville in 1993. Mrs. Fuller was a member of the Shorterville Baptist Church. She was formerly employed by Welch Company of the South in Union Springs and also Eagle and Phenix Manufacturing Company in Columbus, GA. Mrs. Fuller was preceded in death by her parents, Tommy Lee Money and Muriel Strickland Ross, her husband, Keldon Fuller, an infant sister and also her beloved companion, Woody Wilson.

Surviving relatives include two daughters, Donna Nolan Mills and husband, Damon Mills, Pike Road, AL; Christine Renee’ Nolan Teate and husband, William Michael Teate, Collierville, TN; a brother, Ernie Money and wife, Marilyn Money, Abbeville; three grandchildren, Wallace Damon Mills and wife, Kelly Greathouse Mills, William Coburn Teate and Laura Christine Teate; two great-grandchildren, Wallace Makarov (Mac) Mills and Olivia Polina Mills.

Serving as active pallbearers will be the grandsons and Justin Money, J. W. Money, Nicholas Wilson and Stan Kilpatrick. Serving as honorary pallbearers will be Buddy Money and Marty Money.

The family would like to express their appreciation to Dr. Keith Thompson, his wife, Maggie and all the staff of Faith & Grace Hospice, and special thanks to Angie Crewe and Lennet Hardmon for the loving care, kindness and friendship shown to Mrs. Fuller and her family during her illness.

HOLMAN-ABBEVILLE MORTUARY IS IN CHARGE OF FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS. Phone 334-585-5261.

He is so faithful

Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations

I serve a faithful God. He promises to bless generation after generation after generation of those who love Him and keep His commandments. I am seeing that in action as I spent a few days over the weekend as the middle generation between my Mother and my daughter. It brings tears to my eyes to think how He loved me through my Mother and is now loving my daughter through my Mother and me.

I watched my sweet baby girl care for her grandmother with gentleness yet strength. I listened to her sing to her Goodma and read her morning devotional with a soft precious voice. I watched my Mother’s face soak up the beauty of her granddaughter like a dry desert river bed soaks up rain in the winter. Laura and I sang a couple of songs to Mother and when we got to the last verse in “Victory in Jesus” about the mansion, tears welled up in her eyes.

My mother’s poor body deteriorates more and more every day. But with each deterioration of physical strength she gains a spiritual peace and fortitude that I can only envy.

My love for Jesus swells with pride and gratitude at how He is providing sufficient grace and peace and patience and fortitude. He is so faithful.

Hearing God’s voice

God woke me up at 3:00 am. He needed to tell me to go to Montgomery today. Of course, it took me a little while to hear Him. I had to fight with my flesh because I wanted sleep. I had to get up and journal and wade through what my true motives are. I had to fall on my knees and cry out to Jesus to change my heart from my own selfish desires to His will. Then I suspected/knew I was supposed to check Laura out of school early and take her with me to Montgomery today.

God has graciously confirmed for me throughout the rest of the morning that I am now re-focused on what He wants. First, Laura responded graciously and agreeably. Secondly, Donna started crying from relief when I told her we are coming. Being obedient to His will is always best and always brings comfort, peace, assurance and blessing.

I love Jesus and how He manifest Himself faithfully to His children.

Hard choices

2 Cor. 5:7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.

Today is very hard. I should be going to Montgomery to see Mother and relieve Donna. I am not going. I am staying home because I have had to choose between what is best for my teenage daughter and being with my dying Mother.

This has been an ongoing challenge ever since Mother first got sick. Being torn between being at home to raise a rambunctious, socially active, beautiful 14 year old girl or visiting with my sweet, precious, beautiful Mother has been agonizing. These are two of the very most important people in my life, after all.

Mother and Laura - 4th of July weekend - 2009

I have been making the trip down there every 10 – 14 days. Today is the 12th day since I was down there last and I normally would be driving Hwy 78 & I-65 this morning.

But right now, Laura is grounded. She did a silly teenage girl thing and she probably won’t be scarred for life, but she needs her momma to be here and present and involved. When I was her age, my mother was going through hard times. She was not always mentally present and I was left to make choices on my own that were not always the best. When my older son was this age, I was checked out emotionally and mentally and he was left to make choices that were not always the best, either.

I am choosing today to be present for Laura, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. She needs this even if she doesn’t know she needs this. These days, this window of time in her life, is one of the most important. She is so vulnerable to the schemes of the devil and the wiles of the world. She believes she is invincible. I believe the Holy Spirit lives in her and guides her in all truth. But I also know her own flesh will betray her. I am committed to staying vigilant (some might say even hyper-vigilant – my husband doesn’t call me the “hover mother” for no reason, after all) on her behalf. Praying ceaselessly and watching incessantly over all her activities and connections.

I know my Mother is in the best possible hands with my sister, better than my own. Caring for Mother right now is becoming a physical challenge and I know Donna is tired, but she is making decisions today to get some help. I know Mother misses me and I want to see her. Yesterday when she asked me if I was coming to see her, it just about broke my heart to tell her I wasn’t coming. I don’t want to give her details about why because she has always worried about Laura. I do hope and pray that on some level she can understand why I am not going down there this morning.

I have heard people say this dying business is hard. I know now they don’t mean the actual dying. It is the living going on around the one dying that is hard. It is that life goes on even though someone’s life is ending. I want to scream and tell the world to just stop while my Mother’s life drifts away. I want the whole earth to pause and watch while this most beautiful woman exits from this temporary home to her eternal one. But God is God and I am not.

I choose today to trust Him and walk by faith not by sight.

My mother is dying

She told me one time she doesn’t like for me to say she is dying. I don’t know why. She wanted me to say she has “terminal cancer”. Why is that nicer? She is dying from terminal cancer. Is that better?

I guess some deaths are ugly, though. Some cancer deaths are ugly. By God’s grace, though, Mother has been beautiful in this process. My sister, Donna, finally recognized it this past week. She couldn’t explain it or describe it, but she could see it. I told Donna, it is God. We are seeing God in Mother’s dying face. As she comes closer to the time He will call her home, He is transforming her more and more into His own image. Through suffering we learn obedience as Jesus did, and we become more like Him. As Mother suffers she looks more like Jesus.

I don’t know how much longer Mother has left. She has already lived a longer than I or anyone else would have expected. God obviously still has work for her to do. I pray He will continue to be merciful to her and grant her His perfect comfort.

I know this has been a vast learning experience for me. I have learned more about people. I’ve learned who will rise to the occasion. I have learned more about me. I have learned I have a faith that is deeper and wider and richer than I could have believed. I have learned I can “live victoriously in difficult times” and how to be joyous in all my trials and tribulations. And I am learning to wait on Him.

Most importantly, I have learned more about my Jesus. I have experienced personally that He will never leave me or forsake me. I have grown to LOVE Him. I have learned my God will sustain in every situation beyond all I can imagine. I have felt His presence and know He lives in and through me. I have experienced His sufficient grace. I have learned He is trustworthy and faithful.

If this statement sounds nuts to you, then I am sorry for you. I am grateful for this experience.

putting food in it’s proper place

1 Cor. 10:31
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

I have been lazy. I have wanted to write, but not so much to get things down or out of my head, but to be able to say I have written. I know this is game I play. But I am going to write more because I need the discipline.

I told a friend today I am so thankful God has been teaching me discipline. When I first got saved there were certain sins that left my life immediately. There were others that have been slower to slither away. The big ones like drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes, have taken longer, but it seems once they were gone they have stayed gone.

By God’s grace on November 12th I will celebrate 5 years of continuous sobriety. No alcohol or drugs in my system – total abstinence. This past October 18th I celebrated 3 years without a cigarette. Each of those habits were broken when I finally surrendered my control to God and He was able to free me. I learned to be dependent on Him “one day at a time”. I learned to be disciplined, to make a plan and work the plan. A little over a year ago, I realized that if I could quit drinking and smoking maybe I could use the same disciplines to do something about my eating habits and yo-yo dieting.

I have never been extremely over-weight. I have bounced around 150 pounds off and on my whole adult life. In May of 2008 I was almost up to 160 and I didn’t feel good. Over the years I’ve lost weight using things like Nutri-System, Jenny Craig, etc., but that weight never stayed off. I would do behavior modification for a few months, get the weight off, buy a bunch of new clothes and in a year or so the weight would slowly creep back on.

Earlier this year after thinking and praying about it, I decided to turn it over to God. Each day I surrender my eating to Him. I don’t hold myself to any kind of calorie limit or keep myself from eating any thing I want. I do ask God to grant me right thinking about my eating. I ask Him to help me place food in it’s proper perspective. I don’t want to use food as a punishment or as a reward. I want to use it as fuel for my body. I want my body and mind to be used for the glory of God. I ask Him to keep my focus on Him and let Him show me how to eat smaller portions, make better choices and focus on Him and not what I put into my body. I haven’t set a long term goal. I am just living this new way, one day at a time.

I haven’t been obsessed with the scales either. I have weighed every week or two, sometimes going a month before stepping on the scales. I’ve written down the numbers, but I haven’t made it a big deal. Just kind of a side car project, you know? When I started this latest venture in March I think the scales said 151. This morning, the scales said 138.8.

Interesting,,,God is doing a thing. He has done this. Really. When someone ask me if I’ve lost weight, I am surprised. I know I’ve had to go buy new clothes and when I moved from a size 12 into a size 10, I allowed myself just a little bit of satisfaction. But I know this is not what it is really all about. It’s not about what size I wear or how I look. It really is about me placing food in its proper place. Food is not a god, it will not satisfy nor fill the hole in my soul. My God gave food as a fuel for my body and by His gracious blessing he made it enjoyable. Satan will always take God’s good thing and twist it and make it something bad. I am just taking food out of Satan’s grasp in my life and placing it back into God’s hand to be used as intended to nourish my body. I am not a slave to food anymore.

And so,,,it is another way I am disciplining myself to be used in God’s Kingdom.

Next thing on the horizon is exercise. Not planning when I will start, just thinking about it. Asking God to direct. It may take another year to even start, but I have learned to trust God on these things. He is re-making me in His own perfect timing.

What is a Christian

***EDITORIAL NOTE***
I wrote the following on September 16, 2009. I hesitated to post it and I thought I’d lost it. Somehow it has reappeared in my blog posts as a draft. I’m going to take it as a prompting to post it. Lord forgive me if I’m not supposed to do this. Also, be sure to read the added post at the end.

So, I haven’t written in a very long time. But today, I have to get this out. I have to proclaim the name of Jesus loud and clear. I have been in the center of spiritual warfare for the last several days and I didn’t even know it until last night. God is gracious like that. The warfare is not over, though, I don’t think. Satan is pretty ticked off about right now and he’s using every trick and manipulation he has up his sleeve.

Here’s the story. My Mother is dying. She told me a few weeks ago she didn’t like it when I said it that way. She likes for me to say she has “terminal cancer”. I don’t know why. I guess it sounds better, but the truth is she has Luekemia and unless God chooses to do a miraculous healing, her weak little body is going to give out and sooner rather than later. I believe God can heal her and I pray that He will, but the truth for Mother is, “absent from the body means she is present with the Lord.” So a physical healing on this earth is not the better option. Even if He heals her from this disease, she will eventually die from something.

But the real story is about my sister, Donna, and her husband, Damon. I affectionately refer to them as D&D. They are not Christians. They believe in “god”, but they do not believe Jesus is the Son of God. I am not judging them. I am telling you what they’ve told me. This is their own confession.

Mother and I (and countless of you who will read this) have been praying that Mother’s sickness would lead to an even bigger miracle than a physical healing. We have been praying for D&D’s salvation. We have been praying for softened hearts. We have been praying for the scales of pride and prejudice to fall, so blind people can see. I have prayed that the wind of God’s Holy Spirit would blow through their home.

Mother has told Donna she wants her to get her life right with the Lord, so that she will see her in heaven one day. The past few days I have been with them (Mother has been living with them since she was initially diagnosed with Leukemia.) I had the opportunity to share my story and the gospel of Jesus Christ with Donna while there. I also had the chance to dialog with Damon about things of an eternal nature and plant some seeds for thought.

In a lot of ways this whole thing is bizarre. If I think about all this from a purely human perspective, it’s nuts. If you had told me 8 years ago I would be sharing the gospel with D&D, I would have said you need to check your meds. I have never been able to tell them anything. They know everything. I am the baby (10 years younger than Donna) and they have been married practically my whole life. They have always given me advice and told me what to do. I have never been asked for my opinion or input on anything.

But God……I love that. God is at work and He has chosen me to be a part of His plan. I am willing. In my own strength I cannot do it, but I have been preparing for this moment for a long time. Every time I have ever thought or read about evangelism and apologetics it is always with them in mind.

Last night Donna called and told me she has thought about our conversation, the one where I told her where my hope comes from. She has thought about it some more and she has decided that because she was “saved” as a child and was baptized that she is a Christian. So I basically shared an abbreviated version of the Apostles Creed with her and asked her if she believed those things. She said no, she believes in God, but she doesn’t believe Jesus is the Son of God.

I was astounded….stunned. That is a basic tenet of the Christian faith. It amazes me that someone can think they are a Christian and not believe that Jesus is the Son of God.

So, here’s my statement and as the teenagers would say,,,I’m just sayin’

A Chrisitan is someone who believes that Jesus is God, that He lived a perfect sinless life, that He died on a cross to pay the price for our sins, that He rose again from the dead and today He is alive in heaven at the right hand of God the Father. And if you truly believe all these things there will be evidence in your life of this belief. There will be a hunger and thirst for righteousness. There will be a conviction of sin and a turning toward right living. You will love others in the family of God and you will love your enemies. You will have the blessed assurance of eternal life in heaven. You will love the LORD with all your heart and soul and mind and strength.

Just because you say you are a Christian does not mean you are a Christian. If you are not hungry to grow in the image and likeness of Jesus Christ, God’s Son, then you should go to your knees and cry out to God bring you into the Light, because you are walking in darkness, my friend.

****ADDED NOTE****
My sister called me the next day and said she was very happy for me that I had found what ever I’ve found. It has obviously been so good for me. She also admitted that she doesn’t really know what she believes about Jesus. WELL, then…that’s BIG. At least she is beginning to question what she believes. That is where most of us begin this spiritual journey of seeking and discovery. I pray she will seek, because He promises if we will seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him. Jer. 29:13

God of all comfort

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Cor. 1:3-4

I have been so busy the last few weeks. I didn’t initially even miss writing on the blog, but in the last several days I’ve had this burning desire to write down some thoughts. I actually wrote a posting last week, but it was not written with a sweet forgiving spirit so I deleted it. The title was “What is a Christian?” I may come back to that subject but not now. There are so many thoughts running through my head I’m not sure which of them to write about first, so I’m going with the one that is rising to the top this morning.

As I walk through Leukemia with Mother the sense of peace and serenity have been beyond understanding. A couple of weeks ago she started running a fever and my sister and I thought this might be the end. Even Mother said after she started recuperating she thought she was not long for this world. My sister initially was panic stricken. I was not. I was concerned and vascillated between going to Alabama and waiting to see if Mother would get better. I prayed continually. I sought the advice and counsel of friends who’ve walked a similar path. In the end I went to Alabama but now I realize it wasn’t for me or Mother, but for Donna. While on the surface she appeared to be holding it together and she was doing all the right things to take care of Mother, on the inside she was scared to death. My presence, I believe, brought calm. That is not because of me but because of Who lives inside me. The Holy Spirit was so powerfully evident in me that He not only comforted me, but He comforted Donna through me.

Amazingly, Mother rebounded and has been feeling pretty good the last several days. She hasn’t completely regained the strength she had before the high fever, but she is able to get about with the aid of a walker.

Over the course of the last two weeks, I have been granted the gift of encouragment and love and well-wishes from countless brothers and sisters in Christ. God has sent people into my life who’ve ministered to me with the comfort they received from God during trying times. God comforts us, we comfort others, then they are comforted by the God in us and they are comforted by God. I love how God works. He is beautiful in every way.

For such a time as this….

I read the book of Esther this morning. What a beautiful book. God is never mentioned by name in the whole 10 chapters, but His fingerprints are all over the story.

I’ve read the book at least once before. I was sure to read it before I saw the movie One Night With The King. I think the movie was very well done. As I read the book in the Old Testament again this morning I was able to imagine the characters better. Not so much their faces but their character. Esther was undoubtedly a beautiful woman on the outside, but what captures my heart is her character and nobleness.

I am most intrigued by her wisdom and cautiousness. I have always been impetuous. Sometimes I act before I think. I can think pretty fast so my thoughts are usually just a smidgeon ahead of my actions. There are times, though, when the mouth will be in full motion before the brain’s gears are fully engaged.

What I most admire about Esther (Haddasah is her Jewish name) is her poise under pressure from her Uncle Mordecai to save the Jewish people. When asked to approach the king on behalf of her people she didn’t run to Ahasuerus and fling herself at him and whine and plead for the Jewish people. She was told by her uncle if she didn’t speak out then she herself could die. God would save his people, He would just do it by some other means. But Esther did not panic. She planned. She prayed. She fasted and asked her people to do the same. She asked them to pray for her. She pleaded with God not the Persian king.

Then she prepared a feast. Momma always said the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and Esther knew the same. It was not just the food, though. It was not just Esther’s outward beauty either that captured Ahasuerus’ heart. He was captivated by her inner character. And Esther’s heart was fully God’s. Her beauty came from within and it belonged wholly to God. The Light of the One True God of Israel shined from within Esther.

I want that to be said of me,,,,for just such a time as this.